to my mommy,

i love you! you are truly the best! you do everything for me. you cook, clean, and send me love in various ways. im sorry that i havent been making you the happiest. ive been a horrible daughter. i know.. i dont know how to change that. i have wrongs, and i have rights. but the rights are never seen. for every thousand right, one wrong breaks it.

you love me a little less nowadays, but i dont blame you. its my fault anyways.

mommy im crying now, i wish you were here to wipe it away like that time when i fell, and i thought i was dying. the only difference now is that i am slowly dying. you always tell me to not compete with my sister, but youre the main person doing so. its okay, i understand.

im super hard-headed, sorry for always causing you trouble. sorry i cant make you happy, sorry im causing you even more stress.

i would tell you my troubles, but i dont want to bother you anymore. i wish we had a closer relationship, but that doesnt seem like that would happen.

if someday i was to be gone, i would want you to know that youre a phenomal woman, and mommy. youre so funny, and loud and beautiful! i love you (:

i honestly dont know anymore what to do.

friends, i have failed

family, i have failed

and most importantly, myself.

so many thoughts running through my mind. just wanting to go away and never come back. i know its not the answer, but right now it seems like its my only option.

death on my mind
just wanting to find
myself smiling for the right reason
cause nowadays it doesnt seem to be the right season
im sorry for attempting to thrive to survive.

my happiness is just slowly fading into a black hole, that i can never seem to regain.

nothing seems to be going right, i dont understand what has led me to where i am today. its sad how you can have so many friends and family, but then when it comes down to it, its just you.  

in the end, i have nothing left to say except that…i have fallen

(Source: itsjaayhoang)

(Source: itsjaayhoang)